Text hung with thread in a local park on the weekend.
before blaming others, think: whats the 1 constant in all your failed relationships? its that cursed egyptian amulet why do u even have that
“Agree to disagree” is white guy speak for “I understand you have an opinion but unfortunately, me.”
- friend: *whispering* if you're stupid say "what"
- me: what
- friend: OH MAN
- OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
- I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
- SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
- JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.
Miley: “Dad I have something for Tanners bug collection”
my uncle: “that’s great”
Miley: “it’s a bird”
my uncle: “no its not”
They let it go and it flew away just fine, so we’re wondering how she caught it.
she caught another bird.
update: she caught a squirrel today
She is gonna rule the world one day with this power
that tree looks so happy that it is receiving a hug from this child
I AM GROOT